#awinewith Michelle Greenshields
MEET Michelle Greenshields, Founder of Self Discovery Hub.
You can find them here:
Transcript
Danielle Lewis (00:05):
Michelle, welcome to Spark tv. Hi,
Michelle Greenshields (00:08):
It's great to be here.
Danielle Lewis (00:10):
It's so lovely to have you here. I'm so excited to share your story with the beautiful Spark community. Let's kick things off by telling everyone who you are and what you do.
Michelle Greenshields (00:22):
Well, my name's Michelle Greenshields and I'm a self relationship coach and root cause therapist, and I basically help busy professional women get to the core of exactly what they desire and help design an intentionally led and purpose led life.
Danielle Lewis (00:45):
Oh, I love that so much. I think that, gosh, if we could teach that in school people understanding what they actually want out of life and creating their life with intention rather than just, oh, I need to pick this career and that's what my mom told me to do, or I was good at school or whatever, I just think our world would be a better place. So that is so exciting.
Michelle Greenshields (01:11):
Absolutely, absolutely. And I've found that over the years people are looking for more and they're not just settling for mediocre. There's a push to actually move into something more exciting and aligned with what you truly desire.
Danielle Lewis (01:32):
Yeah, it's so true. I mean, I even find that of myself through different seasons of business where I get disconnected from what I'm doing and then it takes me quite a while to go, oh no, that's the mission. That's the thing. I can really get behind that and then start running again. So that idea of stopping and figuring out what you want I think is just so powerful.
Michelle Greenshields (01:56):
It sure is. It is. And I find, so the women that I work with are professional women or womenpreneurs that are going into business themselves, and there's so many different parts of our life that are pulling us in all different directions. And to actually sit down and have a really clear path about what you really want, what actually excites you and what you are good at and what your values are, and aligning with that, that is where you don't have to be motivated to get up in the morning and you don't have to push yourself or you don't need that external drive because you're being purpose led and you're passionate about what you do. So it's really important that you are able to focus on those areas of your life and looking at it in a really simple but really clear way in where it is that you need to from where you are to where you actually want to get. And it's different for, it's funny, the journey is different for everyone, but it's the same for everyone at the same time.
Danielle Lewis (03:14):
So if someone's listening in right now and they're like, oh my God, this is me. I am lost. I dunno what I'm doing with my life. Is there somewhere that you start with people or is there somewhere where you give people a bit of a nudge to be able to reflect?
Michelle Greenshields (03:33):
Absolutely. So people come for different things, different reasons, but they're all there for the same thing. They're wanting that happiness. So what we start with is analyzing exactly where you're at at the moment and looking at all the eight different aspects of your life. So your financial security, your career, your social, your family, your relationships. So there's eight different areas and we analyze what's working well and and the way that my coaching starts is where you are at now. We look back and get an observational view of why and where you are at and the reasons where you're at. And then we look forward. So beginning with the end in mind and what it is that you truly want to create, and then we work from there. When you've got a really clear picture in your mind about what you desire, it's easy to get there.
(04:41):
If you dunno where you want to go and you don't know what you want, well, it's really difficult to get there. But my business started, I guess recently in the last four years, and it all came about, I was marketing manager for a SX listed company and had three small children. I was in a meeting and the office manager came in and said, Michelle, the school's on the phone. And in that moment I thought, oh, I've got three of the boys, so one's hurt again. And she saw the look on my face and she said, oh, it's actually four o'clock. And I had forgotten I'd been so busy, so distracted, I had forgotten to pick them up. And it was in that moment, the mother guilt kicks in and washes over you racing off to pick them up and all these things going through my mind of how could you do this?
(05:50):
You've got all this, you're supposed to have all this figured out. How can you forget your kids? And it was from that moment that I thought, this has got to change. I had a good, great life and good job, and we used to go on holidays, but I was completely disconnected to who I was and what I desired. And it was when I started to go on that internal journey, I realized how past trauma can actually be affecting you in your everyday life. And I found root cause therapy. And then from there, that's basically where I've come from, where I'm able to support women that may be in a position, you feel like you've got this good life, but you feel like there's something missing. And so that's where I'm able to help women now,
Danielle Lewis (06:55):
Oh my God, you're making me want to cry.
Michelle Greenshields (07:00):
Every time I tell that story, that shame and that guilt comes back up again. And it was such a big event that has helped shift me into a place where I'm able to, I've reconnected to what drives me, so what I'm passionate about. So usually there's got to be a low for the high. But not only that, for the past 21 years, my husband and I have also got our own business. Oh my God, what's another one? Well, a company. We've got a landscape construction company. But what I've found is it's when you are actually the solo owner of your business, there's so many different aspects that you need to focus on and your attention easily gets moved away from, again, what we were talking about earlier is the key focus areas and what you want to achieve in your business. So it's been a journey for me, I guess in a way when you are working solo where opposed to when you're actually a business partner and you've got someone to bounce ideas off, so you're wholly and solely responsible for every aspect of the business.
Danielle Lewis (08:31):
And I think one of the biggest things that just stood out for me when you were talking was when you said that you had a great life. And I think that's one thing that's really interesting is a lot of people, and I know I struggle with this as well as I go, I should be grateful for what we have I should be, and how bad a person am I that I'm not satisfied with all of the amazing things we have and amazing things we do and the amazing husband I have. And I go, it's just there is something missing and there's not enough and there's this relentless pursuit of something. And I love how you distill that into figuring out and finding what your purpose is and healing. And then I guess it's just that aiming your life in a direction and being able to connect with something that you are working towards.
Michelle Greenshields (09:25):
Well, especially as women, we do, we compare ourselves to others and say, oh, well, life is good for me and you feel like I am ungrateful if I want more, but you only get one shot at this. So it's so important that everything that you do in every aspect is aligned with what you truly, truly desire. And it really is. It is quite simple. But I think what happens is from a young age, we get caught in this society cycle where it's like, this is what you're supposed to do. This is what we perceive as the right pathway. So you go to school and then go to uni, and then you get a good job and you work nine to five until you retire. You might have a couple of kids or you might not, but we have this way of being able to, we set up strategies for all these aspects outside ourselves.
(10:35):
So we set up business strategies and we set up financial strategies. And if you're going on a holiday, we plan for all this stuff, which is great, but it's all outside of ourselves. Whereas we don't usually stop and take the time to say, okay, who am I really? Am I responding to something that I feel is true, but it's actually not true for me? And I'm talking now limiting beliefs and patterns and thought processes that come right through childhood with us. And we get to a point, I believe, sort of in our thirties to forties where we start reassessing because we do want more and it's okay to want more, and we really deserve to live our best life. And even if you've got a good job and you think, oh, but I'd really love to help people, or it's just not, it's good, but it's not exactly what you want to do.
(11:47):
You deserve to actually have the life that you truly desire. And that's what I've found that, and it's taken me a long time, but the reason that I started my business is I'm late forties now, and if I can help people 10, 15 years when I was 10, 15 years ago helped to start putting these processes in place where they can start earlier instead of waiting or regretting getting to later in life. Usually it's the women. My clients are women that are going to difficult life transitions. Divorce grief is a big one where we've lost someone important in our lives. And so it's really important to get clear on all these different aspects. And I've created a framework in which people can we go through it and then they can see where they're at. So there's six stages and we look at exactly where we're at and where we need to begin. And that's basically building a really strong foundation to who you are and understanding what it is that you truly desire. So it's basically from my experience, being able to support others to create, but a lot quicker, a lot sooner than what I did. So I feel like it's really important and I'm really passionate about it.
Danielle Lewis (13:31):
Oh my God, I can tell I love this so much. And I just love that oftentimes as women in business, we are sitting by ourselves in our home office, and it's just us and our thoughts, and sometimes our thoughts are not very nice, and sometimes they spiral and sometimes they go around in circles. And I just love having someone like you as a guide that can really help us understand where we have been, what we've going through, where we want to get to. But sometimes you can't ask yourself those questions. Sometimes you can't objectively look at your life, but having someone like you who is a guide is just so powerful to get to the root cause. And also, I just love how you said we should want more. We should want it all. We should because we should. And I love that you are giving women permission to live their best lives. Because again, I think that women, when we are given that permission or we give that permission to ourselves, we actually do awesome things and often really impactful in our communities.
Michelle Greenshields (14:41):
Oh, absolutely. Firsthand what it's like when women are thriving together, they can create amazing things, and sometimes it takes someone else being able to see that brilliance inside you. There's so many women out there that aren't confident enough to step into what all their offerings and things that they can help other people. It's because they're stuck in those old belief systems. And when you've got something to share, even if you can help one more person, and it is other, it's often that other women can see the beauty and the value and what you can offer to others. And sometimes that's all you need. You just need someone to tease that out of you to step into something bigger and better than something that you couldn't even possibly imagine. And it's really incredible seeing where some women start from and where they end up and what they've created, because that's what happens. You actually, it's like you start to bloom. You're like this beautiful seed that all bud that's ready to open up. And once you've got that permission, like you said, it's like the world is your oyster.
Danielle Lewis (16:11):
Yeah, it is so true. And I mean maybe a little sad that we need permission sometimes to step into our brilliance, but I think it's just reality, right? There's so much noise in the world, there's so much comparison when we look at social media, there's so much baggage we're dragging from our childhood that you are so right. I love that when you said sometimes you just need to tease out that little brilliance in there because it is just that it doesn't have to be your empire tomorrow. It is. How do you take the first step and know the direction you're heading in?
Michelle Greenshields (16:47):
Absolutely. And usually that's all it is. It's getting rid of the distractions and all the things that you think that you're supposed to be doing and just getting really, really super clear on what it is that you are desiring and basically making a plan. That's all it is. But I think where we get stuck or where the problem is from a balance point of view, trying to balance your personal and your professional life and trying to be everything to everyone and be all these places and be the best mom and the best friend and daughter. And we get pulled from pillar to post in every aspect of our life. And really what it is, it is what you said, it's giving yourself permission to actually reconnect to who you truly are and what you truly desire. And basically, as soon as that alignment happens, it is the perfect marriage.
(18:03):
You start to look at things differently. You start leaving all the things out of your life that aren't doing a good service. So whether it's music or TV or people or places or food or alcohol, whatever it might be, you start getting really selective about what you will have in your life and what you won't have in your life. And that in itself is a huge thing that when people start to go, oh, start to notice, oh, when I spend time with that person, I feel really depleted. Or when I see this person, I feel amazing. I feel like I can conquer the world. So it's all about understanding and reconnecting back to your authentic self. So I help people change their self relationship so they can transform their life. And that's basically it. It's really simple. So
Danielle Lewis (19:14):
I love that you say that it's simple because I know that over the last four years in business, you would've refined the message, but it's so powerful. I feel like it's yes, it's simple and in practice you are guiding someone through a framework. But I just think about my own life. I think about the women in business that I speak to, and a lot of times in business we kind of keep going because there's this opportunity cost. Well, I started, I've got to, what will people think? All the things. So I know you're saying it's simple, but I think it's just so powerful for people. I think that this is for everyone. I mean, I am literally thinking about a conversation I had with my sister on the weekend, and she's not a business owner, she's an employee. But at that stage in life where she's kind of a little stuck, and I think that it is that, well, I studied this, I traveled here, now I'm in this job and I'm not where I thought I was going to be, but I don't even think she knows where she wants to be to even be taking the appropriate steps.
(20:19):
So I just think this work is so powerful on so many levels for so many people.
Michelle Greenshields (20:25):
Absolutely. And this is the thing that it doesn't matter if you are in your twenties, your thirties, your forties or fifties. When you decide that you want more, then all you need to do is actually really look at where you are at right now and where you want to be. There are so many little things along the way that I can support people with as far as giving them the systems and processes to actually dive into those aspects of yourself. But it's really that simple. It's like, okay, where am I right now and where do I want to be? And this can be a bit confronting for some people, but one of the most powerful things that I ever did when I was in my early twenties, we had a business mentor from the states in the role. I was a national account executive, a print and design agency, and we had this business mentor. And one of the very first modules that I had to do was write my own eulogy.
Danielle Lewis (21:36):
Oh my God,
Michelle Greenshields (21:42):
I'm going to say I was about 24, 25, and I remember doing this. Now, the amazing thing is that that eulogy is coming true.
Danielle Lewis (21:58):
So
Michelle Greenshields (21:58):
Now I'm at the end of getting towards the end of my forties, but everything that I wrote in that eulogy is where I'm at now. So whether I consciously or subconsciously knew that at the time, but Stephen Covey talks about the seven habits of highly effective people or successful people, and he always says, start with the end in mind. And although a lot of people don't like thinking about death, but let's face it, that's the only thing that we know that's actually going to, yeah, it's coming unfortunately. But what the beauty about that is, is you get so clear and specific about what it is, and when you do that, you will transform your life. So your life in the very moment that you choose different from right now.
Danielle Lewis (23:06):
So
Michelle Greenshields (23:07):
It is, it's very powerful. And if you can imagine just one person changing their life and the flow on effect that that has in their life, so their immediate family, their children watching, whether it's their mom or dad, step into this different person, this more alive, this more passionate, this more connected person, that flow on effects doesn't just help this generation. It starts helping the other generations as well. And it is really, really powerful work. We are bringing all this, it's all about happiness and passion and positivity and growing. Instead of this static stuck kind of where do we go, place that a lot of people find themselves in.
Danielle Lewis (24:05):
I love it. And I want to share a tip I have just in case anyone's listening and they can't connect with the eulogy thing. So there's a couple of people that I, so I'm a big journaler and there's a couple of Yeah, I know. It's so good. And there's two concepts that I've come to know lately. And one of them, this beautiful female founder, she has this journal called The Plot Line. And basically the idea is that you turn your journaling into, it's called narrative therapy or something like that. And then there's this other concept called quantum leaping, which might be way too woowoo for everybody listening. But the idea is journaling from the perspective that you have already achieved everything that you set out to. It's almost like you're creating this movie of this amazing life that you have lived, all of the things, how you feel, what you have, where you've been, who's in your life, this whole super in depth movie.
(25:07):
And it's almost like perhaps that's the thing that's playing at the end of your life is, but I love the idea. I always feel like when I visualize my goals, I visualize myself as if I've already achieved them, but I let go, oh my God, tell me about when you did X, Y, Z. And it's like I picture myself in my mind, I'm very fit in my mind. I've clearly gone to the gym a lot, but this girl, Danielle of the future is like, oh my God, it's amazing. All of that hard work was worth it. You did that. This is the life we have here. This is where we live. And it's so exciting having no limits and no cap on this vision for your life. And it always surprises me every now and again, it changes slightly. And I go, oh, maybe that's something that I want for myself. So I do love that idea of at the end, have that end in mind. What is that end game? And what is that no limits, no holds barred, whatever that friction is, I go for it. And then how do we actually work back from there in the tiniest way possible?
Michelle Greenshields (26:17):
Well, it's funny what you're talking about because you're talking about the law of attraction, and as soon as you have got a vision that is so clear that you can actually feel it and the energy behind it, it's basically nothing else can happen because you basically created that moment already. So you're living it like it's already happened. And that is how you manifest everything in your life. So when you are that in tune and you can feel it, you are automatically going to get it because the universe delivers what you desire. So whether you believe that you can or whether you believe that you can't, right? And so what you're talking about is basically basically the law of attraction, and that is exactly how you manifest your deepest desires. So there's also other ways that you can do it, but I think that it's fantastic that you do that with your journaling and because you would be so clear and you can feel every detail, and it's in your body of how you actually feel, it's like you've already got it, rather than when I get there or when I do this, then I will feel like that.
(27:54):
So that is a really powerful tip or trick that you mentioned there. So it's fantastic.
Danielle Lewis (28:04):
Yeah, and I love what you just said about the not delaying the happiness and satisfaction. I find that a lot people are like, well, when I make a million dollars, I'll be happy. Or when I do this, I'll be happy. Or when I do that, I'll be happy. But it's like, you'll never be happy if you think like that. There'll always be a new, bigger and better goal, but also you are out of alignment with that energy. If you think that you are going to be happy when you make a million dollars, you better start figuring out how to be happy now because that will bring in the million dollars.
Michelle Greenshields (28:37):
Absolutely. Exactly. That is the key. The key is having exactly, eventually getting exactly what you desire, but having that happiness and tuning into that feeling. And that's what it is all about because that's where you attract. If you're vibing high, you're attracting high. And if you're vibing low, you're attracting low. So it is, it's a really, really important part. And again, this is for business. This works beautifully in business, but also in your personal life. So it works the exact same way if you are wanting to meet the person of your dreams and what are the characteristics of this person? How does this person make you feel when you're with them? And tuning into that feeling of how it will be when you do meet or attract, because that's basically what we do. We attract the person where we're at the time. And so it is having an awareness about this, and again, what we were talking about earlier, it all comes back to knowing yourself on a really deep level.
Danielle Lewis (29:55):
Oh, I love it so much. This is absolutely incredible. I could literally talk to you all day and you have made my day just having this conversation with you. But I will wrap up the podcast. So reflecting on your time in business, now that I know you have two businesses as well, but reflecting on your time in business, what would be a piece of advice that advice you would give to another woman on her journey?
Michelle Greenshields (30:24):
My advice would be being super clear on what it is that you are offering and who you are offering it to, and making sure that you are going to be in your highest good delivering that. So the trying to make sure that you are supporting yourself and taking care of yourself in that way, whatever product or service that you are offering, that you're putting yourself first. Because once you put yourself first, then everything else falls into place. And I think that it is easy for women in business to be doing all those different aspects, the marketing, the advertising, the social media, and doing all the whatever they're doing within their business, whether it's the coaching or the products or whatever. And we keep putting ourselves on the back burner, and I think our self relationship is the most important relationship that we ever have in life, and we need to treat it like that. We need to prioritize it. So that would be my advice. Prioritize yourself.
Danielle Lewis (31:44):
Oh my God, I hope everybody listening to this cancels all of their meetings for the day and prioritizes themselves. I think that you are so spot on. I could not. I know every time I've been out of alignment with products or services, I just start resenting the process and it just doesn't happen. I think I just love that figure out and prioritize yourself. You are so amazing, Michelle. I would love to talk to you more, but I will leave it there. Thank you so much for your insights and your wisdom today. You've been incredible.
Michelle Greenshields (32:21):
Thanks, Danny. It's been a pleasure.
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