#awinewith Felicity Lenehan
MEET Felicity Lenehan, Founder of A Way With Words
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Transcript
Danielle Lewis (00:00):
You are listening to Spark TV, where we bring you daily interviews with real women in business at all stages. I'm your host, Danielle Lewis, and I am so grateful to have you here. So good. Felicity, welcome to Spark tv.
Felicity Lenehan (00:14):
Thank you very much. It's good to be here.
Danielle Lewis (00:16):
I'm very excited to have you. And I love, we just said you are usually in the interview seat, so a bit of a different hat on today. So I hope that I do you justice and help me share your story like you do with other people.
Felicity Lenehan (00:30):
Thank you. I am sure you will. I'm sure you will.
Danielle Lewis (00:33):
So God, let's start out by telling everyone who you are and what you do.
Felicity Lenehan (00:38):
My name is Felicity Lenahan and I am a life story writer and writing coach or mentor. I run courses. I started life as a journalist, fashion journalist, and interviewed lots of famous people and here and overseas and then had four kids. So that had to stop, wouldn't have to stop, but that was the decision we made. And I just went into freelancing and that was in the days when blogs were big started and everyone wanted a website copy. So I did that. And then when my last baby went off to school, I didn't want to talk baby talk anymore, so I decided to go out and talk to adults and write life stories. So I've been for over a decade and I've done over 60 life story books and courses from, I don't know, 20 courses I suppose. Yeah.
Danielle Lewis (01:41):
Oh my God. So when you say life story, you mean literally documenting in a book format, somebody's life story, like a person's history journey through life.
Felicity Lenehan (01:55):
So there's sort of a few different levels of it. There's autobiography, which is someone's written their own or it's in first person and it's got lots of other people chiming in on the story, research, historical facts, things like that. And biography fits into that memoir as well, which again is first person, but it's a bit more of a formulated, structured, almost fictionalized use fiction technique story. And then I would categorize life story as all of those, but mostly it's used in the sense that it is just the person's voice and it's from go to woe. It doesn't use any of those fictional techniques that men one might use. It's pretty much the person talking about their life always in first person and you try and keep their voice as much as possible. People love it when they read it back and they say, oh, I can hear him off the page. Oh,
Danielle Lewis (02:59):
That's so good.
Felicity Lenehan (03:00):
Yeah, so that's kind of the breadth. And also I'm also on the Board of Life Stories Australia, which is our national association and life stories also encompass now audio, video, all sorts of different mediums, not just,
Danielle Lewis (03:17):
I didn't even know that we had a Life Stories Australia.
Felicity Lenehan (03:21):
We do. We've got some beautiful Western Australian members.
Danielle Lewis (03:24):
Wow.
Felicity Lenehan (03:25):
Yes. Yeah, it's a great group. Everyone is really friendly, willing to share information and help each other rather than behaving as if it's a competitive space. So it's really great group. Yeah,
Danielle Lewis (03:39):
This is such an interesting concept. I was literally recording another podcast interview this morning and we were talking about how perhaps in Australia, maybe everywhere, I'm not sure, but we're here. There may be not enough respect for elders and how perhaps not every idea that they have in their head is relevant to now, but they've got such a story to tell and so many actual good lessons and they have survived far longer than us through far different circumstances that actually tapping into their stories and their wisdom is so powerful. But I think we don't always get the opportunity to do that. I feel like this really extracts that and gives that gift to every family member ongoing generations. It's just so powerful.
Felicity Lenehan (04:33):
Yeah, it's really interesting that you say that because about to embark on a social enterprise journey, which addresses that problem. So there's all these statistics at the moment. There's one in 10 people over 60 in five years there's going to be one in six and there's this big mental health crisis for people considered elderly, whatever that means. And I find myself using the term identify as aged I suppose, because that could be someone in their thirties riddled with arthritis. There's all sorts of definitions of it, but it comes with isolation, loneliness, that lack of respect. So we're about to hit a big and a big aging population. It's going to be bigger than the younger generation. If you think about it, millennial women are in the menopause age. That was that kind of, how the hell did that happen? Oh my God, really? It's happening quickly and there's going to be a huge number of people. And if we can't grapple with the mental health issues
(05:50):
Of the part of society, that's going to be one of the biggest. So my social enterprise idea is I've got a life story app. So you can write record, publish the book to offer that to all sorts of aged care. Anyone that accesses anything to do with aged care, it might be a gp, it might be a gym who's got older, fitter, stronger program. It might be someone who applies for pension, anything physios. They offered this app to write their life story with. It comes a training kit so you can train yourself up to write run life story groups, circles called 'em. And so this is to sort of build that sense of community, abolish that isolation, all of that stuff, upskill, because there's a lot of information out there saying that communication is one of the foundational skills that we will need in the robotic era, and we're not going to have the workforce. So we need to upskill the greatest generation that we have number of people who are considered old. So it sort of addresses all of these issues, but essentially it's a book or an audio recording in the world for people to have respect for the experience. All the different things that have happened that we don't have anymore. Like milk bars and
(07:30):
Mixed tapes
Danielle Lewis (07:33):
Bring mixed tapes back. I feel like the Spotify playlist is just not as romantic.
Felicity Lenehan (07:39):
No, not at all. Not when you haven't really made it yourself. Sat there with the record button and
Danielle Lewis (07:44):
Gone through the pain,
Felicity Lenehan (07:47):
The tape back.
Danielle Lewis (07:51):
Oh my God, I love that so much. And it's really interesting, and I'll say this again, and it's funny, I'm sure these interviews will go out back to back now that I'm telling the same story in the same interview. But I remember because when I started my business, I never knew anybody that had their own business. My parents worked in the same jobs for 40 years.
(08:14):
And when you're an entrepreneur, you take all of these big risks and you have this, well, I did have this, I can do it. It's my way. I'm just going to try and blah, blah. And then the sensible parents will doll out some advice and reason with you. And I was like, whatever, I'm doing this. I'm building an empire. All of these things. And then you have to check yourself a little bit and you look at them and you're like, well, they do own their own home. And they are now retired and living off a fantastic superannuation and they have had a family and they have done all of these things. And I go, Danny, you're now 40 and you don't have any of those things. It's a good idea.
Felicity Lenehan (09:01):
But different times, right? Different times. We've had different financial situations and things like that, but I think there's a wisdom there that if you really actually deeply listen and take,
(09:16):
It's great we get something out of that. But also it's been interesting over the journey of writing life stories, how the interview part is the thing that people enjoy the most actually. They enjoy getting the book and seeing their life off the page and enjoy the family going, oh, I never knew that about you. Which happens probably 90% of the time actually. But they really enjoy the interview and it's because I'm sitting there listening unreservedly, I'm having loads of attention. I don't know them as well as their family might know them. So I asked lots of questions and I think, and who doesn't love reminiscing talking about the good old days or even the challenges or the trauma and seeing themselves as strong. They got through that. It's narrative therapy happening on a daily basis. When you write a love story, they really see it in themselves in a different light, which is great. If you think about that on a math scale that everybody has access to something like this. They don't see themselves as that lonely, worthless. I've got nothing to give person. They see themselves a product of what they've achieved in life, what they've done, where they've been, what they've lived through, how strong they are of the challenges they live through. So it's really important. I'm quite passionate about it.
Danielle Lewis (10:50):
No, I love it. And it just gets me thinking as well. We often talk about not celebrating our successes and not reflecting. It's always chasing, chasing and moving on to the next thing. And I guess that's doesn't matter if you're running a business or not, that's kind of true for everyone. I feel like you get up in the morning and you live your day. And sure some of us are working towards big goals and they happen and that's great, but plenty of other different circumstances. And I just feel like that reflection and that validation of what you have gone through and what you have overcome or what you have achieved, sometimes we forget to do that part. And you're right. And I think there's that therapy in just talking about it and sharing that with somebody.
Felicity Lenehan (11:40):
Even you just reminded me. It's one of the best life stories actually I've done. They're all the best. But anyway, don't play favorites. They were really has with me because I get a lesson out of every single one. So one of the ones that has really stuck with me was a person who grew up in the same suburb, lived in the same suburb. He got the life story gift for his 90th birthday, and he still lived in the same suburb, the same house he bought 70 years earlier with his wife.
Danielle Lewis (12:15):
Wow.
Felicity Lenehan (12:17):
He had all these kids and a million grandkids. He'd worked in the same job his whole life. He had a love of cars. But on paper that looks like the most ordinary life and some people will go boring. But at the end of it, I always ask a early question at the end, what's your wisdom about life? Kind of a question. And I said, what would you do again? What lessons would you pass on to your grandkids? He said, I'd do it all again. It was all fantastic. I cried. He cried. Getting tissues. But it's simple, right? Life can be simple and amazing. And that was of course the challenging stories. When I do a trauma story first at the end of it, I just think the human spirit is incredible, really. How do you get up and get on every day? What is it that drives that? But the living life simply and looking back and going, it was so great. Who doesn't want that?
Danielle Lewis (13:30):
Oh my God, it's so true. Literally, I was watching a YouTube video this morning on money and it had referenced a minimalist quote. And I do think sometimes we try and fill the hole in our lives with stuff and things and in this relentless pursuit of achievement and being happy. And I just think you're so right. You can actually just, things can be simple and you can be happy and these are all choices.
Felicity Lenehan (14:02):
And it might not be a choice now in this society that we're growing up in, but it was for him. But there's different ways, I suppose you can make it simple. Just the same thing happened this week, A couple, they were immigrants and when they came here they said, right, we have this opportunity to really make some incredible wealth considering the poverty we've come from. At that time it was free education, they got grants, they got money to buy a home, all of that sort of stuff, which wowed them and they're still eternally grateful, but they said, we want you to go to work. They both were career people, which was really interesting for the age that they were in Australia, women generally were not
(14:47):
Working,
(14:49):
But she was a career woman as well. She gave up work to raise the kids and they decided together, we're not going to, I want you to go to work and come home. We don't need to be greedy. We don't need to earn a lot of money. We want a small house, a small car, happy kids, and that's it. Come retirement, they have been to 90 different countries. Whoa. With that small house and that small car and that, oh my god, life that they purposefully pushed aside the things they really could have had and a lot of people in this situation would've taken. So yeah.
Danielle Lewis (15:27):
Oh my God, I just love intentionality. I just love when people go block out the noise. I don't need to follow somebody else's version of happiness and success. This is what we want. And we will relentlessly say no to everything. That's not it.
Felicity Lenehan (15:45):
All lessons we need to know. As I said, every single story I do, I take away something from my own life.
Danielle Lewis (15:52):
Oh my God, look at everybody know that. It must be so amazing talking to these people.
Felicity Lenehan (15:58):
Yeah, I feel it's a real privilege. People let you ride into their lives. It's real privilege. Yeah. I get more out of it I think, than they do.
Danielle Lewis (16:08):
I say that about this podcast, I'm like, this is therapy for me. This is literally 30 minutes of therapy every day. Yeah, I love it. But it is just goes back to the power of conversations and stories and learning from each other.
Felicity Lenehan (16:27):
Yep, absolutely. And that's never more evident to me when I do a life story writing course or workshop. People instantly come together. It's instant. And there's not been over the many I've done, there's not been one time where it didn't happen. I mean, I anticipate that it's going to happen. There's going to be someone who doesn't want to share,
Danielle Lewis (16:49):
Never. Wow.
Felicity Lenehan (16:51):
And it's such a deeply personal thing that they're doing also because they're often the same age, so they've lived through the same time period. So you'll get someone saying, oh, when we were 14, women had to leave school and they were either nurse or a secretary. Oh yes, I was a nurse, I was a secretary. Did you go to the women's nurse? Did you live in the women's nursing? Wow. Yeah. I think, yeah, definitely conversation creates connection and everybody wants it, not just the invisible age as they're called.
Danielle Lewis (17:25):
Yeah, it's really interesting. So you have taken this beautiful idea and built a business around it so people can leverage your services, they can download your app, they can take courses. Is that essentially how you've monetized this amazing skill you have?
Felicity Lenehan (17:46):
Yes, it is. Yes, it is. All of those things. I try and do the courses through grants, like council grants.
(17:59):
Oh, cool.
(18:00):
So that it's cheaper for the participants because then if they're generally, I put them in the middle of the day to have retirees enjoy it. Mostly the market that I do the life stories for and mostly the people I come across who want to write their own life stories and they don't have a lot of money. Some writing courses are really expensive, so they don't have that sort of money or they don't want to spend it on that. So I try and get a grant to do those particular ones. But the app was self-funded, a new thing because
Danielle Lewis (18:40):
What was that process like building an app?
Felicity Lenehan (18:43):
So
Danielle Lewis (18:44):
I didn't Traumatizing. Yes. I story's always the answer. I have never heard anybody say, ah, it was fantastic. It was seamless. The first people I engaged to build it for me it was a giant success.
Felicity Lenehan (18:58):
Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. So I use, I haven't paid for it twice yet. Good,
Danielle Lewis (19:08):
Good. I'm being negative. I'm being negative.
Felicity Lenehan (19:12):
No, no, no. But it's not a hundred percent what I envisioned. It doesn't have all the functionality It does. I had to make a decision to either spend all my money that I'd saved to put into it or cut it off and leave a little bit to market it, develop it, all of that sort of stuff and just see how it goes in the world as well. And then I started to see, so social media heard me talk and Google heard me talk and it started to spit out all these things about the Canva lady who put it out there and it didn't really work very well at all, but she just put it out there and
(19:53):
If you haven't put your idea out there when it's not quite finished, you are behind the game sort of thing. All of this stuff. So that made me feel better. And all my people that have used it, there's been no problems with it. It just doesn't have, it's not the whole tiny disco ball that I wanted, but that will come, that will come. Then there'll probably be more things that I want to add to it as people use it. But at the moment, it's doing its job and people are really enjoying it. And the interesting thing is that some of the older people that are using it, because it's technology and their immediate reaction is, and it uses AI and their immediate reaction is, yeah, it's been interesting. One lady called it revolutionary. So that was good. Cool. I love that. Yes. So my purpose was to make it as easy to use as possible for the age group. So yeah,
Danielle Lewis (20:53):
It's just so good, isn't it? And I mean, it is revolutionary, perhaps you think it's not all of the things yet, and it's not exactly how I thought it would be, but when you are providing that value to that person, that's all they see. All they see is, oh my God, you are doing this great service or solving this problem. They only see that. I just think it's us as business owners because we are so have got this grand vision for our life and how we want things to be, but sometimes we forget. I love that you said if you haven't put it out and you hate it behind the curve. So true. If you put it out there and someone gets value out of it, then that's spot on. That's all you can ask for.
Felicity Lenehan (21:43):
And it was interesting experience developing it because I engaged someone from Bangladesh, a team from Bangladesh, and they were studying at uni, and every now and then they'd say, we've just got to stop work so we can go and do our exam.
(21:56):
Wow.
(21:58):
First year uni, I was like, so I've got techie kids who are around the same age and I'm like, look what they've done. Yes. Oh my
Danielle Lewis (22:09):
God. Lot of people out there. I always hear about these 14 year olds bloody launching apps and I'm like, what am I doing with my life?
Felicity Lenehan (22:18):
Oh, they're clever, right? But they don't have our wisdom.
Danielle Lewis (22:21):
No, that's right. Trying to our fantastic life experience.
Felicity Lenehan (22:26):
That's right. They definitely don't have our organization.
Danielle Lewis (22:29):
Yes, that's right. What do you think has been the biggest challenge for you on this journey in business?
Felicity Lenehan (22:37):
Definitely having to do everything myself, particularly marketing. After 10 years, my message is tired. I'm tired of giving the same message, although, and I'll do business courses, upskilling business marketing courses and things like that. And you've got such an emotional product, you just need to emote it. And I'm like, oh, I have been Otting for decades, but it's like doing the technology, updating my own website. It's customer relations, everything. And I have had subcontractors doing the editing and doing the transcribing and designing the books and things like that and printing publishing, but it's also managing them, right? That's just doing everything yourself. And so I'm not quite sure how my conquering the world of my social enterprise idea who I'm going to employ to help me with that, but it's, it's going to be needed. And I'm looking forward to that. I know there, I have friends who are constantly feeding me sales ideas. You can come and work for me. You can come and work for me.
Danielle Lewis (23:58):
I know. But I think that's the power of the entrepreneur. Once we get excited about it, we will find the people. We'll find the time, we'll find the money, we'll find the solution. I just think we're wired like that.
Felicity Lenehan (24:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just never, I'll have days where I go, right, that's it. I'm closing it all down. I'm not doing anymore. I'm going to go lie on the beach.
Danielle Lewis (24:22):
Well, some days I will be there right next to you with a wine in my hand,
Felicity Lenehan (24:28):
But then the next morning I wake up, or not even the next morning that afternoon, I'll go, what about this idea? Just think about this idea and goes off goes the beach idea. Yeah. You can't stop thinking that way, I think. Yeah,
Danielle Lewis (24:41):
No, I know. I was lying in bed. I was saying, my husband's away at the moment. He's like, what are you up to? I'm like, I'm lying in bed just thinking about all the things I can do to grow Spark. And he's like, that feels like really good sleep thoughts, doesn't it? I was like, it doesn't end. It doesn't end. I know,
Felicity Lenehan (24:59):
But it's love hate relationship, right. With that kind of buzzing brain.
Danielle Lewis (25:05):
Yeah. But I think mean this is why entrepreneurs change the world though, right? Because they do just become so obsessed with an idea that they do dedicate every waking brain space to it.
Felicity Lenehan (25:19):
Yeah. Yeah. It's a reflexive action really. My son's developed a renewable technology and he's the same. And I watch him and go, you've got to go to bed. But I've just got to, I'm like, understand one more thing. One more thing. Yeah, I understand. But I'm also your parent.
Danielle Lewis (25:37):
Yeah. How old is he?
Felicity Lenehan (25:38):
He's 17. He is doing his HSC. So he is doing his HSC and he is at uni already developing his technology. What? Yes.
Danielle Lewis (25:47):
Oh my god, these kids are crazy. That's wild. That gives me great hope for our future though.
Felicity Lenehan (25:55):
Yes. Yeah. And it's been interesting because he's been a child for a lot of the journey. I've gone with him to all the different events and I'm the director of his business just on paper. But it's been interesting. I mean, it's a really a new space base and they're all young. There are investors who are not, but there's some very brilliant minds out there. So the other side to my life story writing work is working with teenagers. I've done lot stuff with Headspace and kids writing their life story for therapeutic purposes.
Danielle Lewis (26:34):
Wow. Reflecting or visualizing into the future.
Felicity Lenehan (26:39):
So they've all approached it differently. I it's all based on their real life experience. So some will just write memoir style books, others will fictionalize the main character, but it is their experience in life, which I mean every author draws from their experience in life. Yeah. And then some just might do bullet points. Some actually just sit and talk to me about the story and they might go and write it later. Some do screenplays, but it's all sort of, because they're coming up through Headspace, it's quite internal. It's an internal activity for them to do. So it's a therapy for them rather. And it's upskilling as well. I had one gorgeous girl who never learned to write, read, or write, and she taught her writing was incredible, really incredible. What went on up here was just amazing.
Danielle Lewis (27:49):
Oh my god.
Felicity Lenehan (27:51):
I have a passion for so-called older people and teenagers, and I think both of them suffer. Ageism, unfortunately, both have so much to offer, so yeah.
Danielle Lewis (28:05):
Oh my god, you are incredible.
Felicity Lenehan (28:09):
Some days I don't feel that, so thank you for saying it.
Danielle Lewis (28:12):
No, I just think it's so, yes, it must be the theme of the day, but I just feel like storytelling, whether it be outwardly to support others or inwardly to make sense of our own lives, I just feel like it's so powerful and the fact that you have built a business around that is truly incredible.
Felicity Lenehan (28:35):
Yeah. It's a buzzword at the moment for sure. I've seen it used really a lot more than it ever used to be. And I think that's when we read stories, we want human connection. We are reading it to make sense of our own world. We're reading someone else's story, make sense of our own world and why it's useful for everything. Right?
Danielle Lewis (28:56):
Yeah. And I mean, it's interesting. I have a real problem with the phrase, you can't be what you can't see because I know what I want to do and I dunno, I'm not really following someone else's path, but I still believe I can get there. But I do also understand that that's not true. Not everybody thinks like that. And that's not true for everybody. So it is through stories of success, failure, achievement, this path, that path. That is how you get to see the thing that you could and it opens up your world to what might be possible for you.
Felicity Lenehan (29:33):
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And there's so much of it available to us now every week.
Danielle Lewis (29:38):
Oh, totally. Too much. Some might say. Yes, yes. Oh my God, so good. Alright, I could talk to you all day, Felicity, but let's wrap up on one last question. So I always like to end these podcasts by asking what is one piece of advice that you would give to another woman to help her on her business journey?
Felicity Lenehan (30:07):
One piece of advice is difficult.
Danielle Lewis (30:10):
That's alright. You can give many. We can dot point this. I
Felicity Lenehan (30:14):
Think for me personally, the advice I would give myself, I suppose, is to switch off that brain, find a way to switch it off. Because in those moments of quiet, you regenerate ideas, you get more ideas, you obviously relax, which is good for your physical health. It's just so how can you switch off when you are doing everything and when you can't, actually, that's not the way you work. I just find a way that that works. I'm absolutely the world's worst person at meditating. I sit there with the list just going around in my head. Same. I go for a walk, I take the earbuds out and just think when I'm walking. And even things like doing four kids sport on the weekend, although it's crazy busy and it's noisy and it doesn't feel like a relaxing thing to do, I can't afford to think about any business things. So I think it's really important for a self-sustaining business model to look after yourself first and switch off. Yeah.
Danielle Lewis (31:28):
Wow. I love it. I couldn't agree more. All my best ideas come when I'm switched off.
Felicity Lenehan (31:35):
Yeah,
Danielle Lewis (31:36):
When you're trying to force it, it just doesn't
Felicity Lenehan (31:39):
Happen. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. It just gives us longevity in the job. I think we're not doing one thing day in, day out. As business owners, you are constantly trying to change things and make it better and evolve with the times and things like that. And you can't do that if you don't have a clear head.
Danielle Lewis (32:00):
I love it so much. You are incredible. Felicity, thank you so much for sharing your story on the Spark TV podcast. Thank you for having me. That wraps another episode of Spark tv. Shout out to Spark TV sponsor IP Australia for their amazing support of the Spark Podcast and women in business. And if no one tells you today, you've got this.
✨ Thank you to IP Australia for supporting the SPARK podcast and women in business ✨
