#awinewith Chloe Adriana
MEET Chloe Adriana, Founder of Chloe Adriana
You can find them here:
Transcript
Danielle Lewis (00:00):
You are listening to Spark tv, where we bring you daily interviews with real women in business at all stages. I'm your host, Danielle Lewis, and I am so grateful to have you here. Amazing. Chloe, welcome to Spark tv. I'm so excited to have you here.
Chloe Adriana (00:16):
So good to be here. Yay.
Danielle Lewis (00:20):
Now let's start out by telling everyone who you are and what you do.
Chloe Adriana (00:25):
So I call myself Chloe Adriana, the pussy queen and sexuality coach specifically for women and female bodied beings.
Danielle Lewis (00:36):
Wow. I have never had a sexologist or the pussy queen on the podcast. I'm
Chloe Adriana (00:44):
Slightly intimidated. Don't be intimidated. You're already obviously doing well. There's roses in the background you bought for yourself, so you're killing it.
Danielle Lewis (00:53):
Well, that's all I have to do then. Oh my God, amazing. So tell me what this means. So who would come to you? What kind of state would somebody be in where they're like, I need your help?
Chloe Adriana (01:07):
Usually there's a few different entry points. There's people who come in who are really just stuck stuff in life. They've got a job, maybe they've got a partner, they're doing the things, but there's just not that feeling of aliveness and joy that other people seem to have. So that's an entry point. That was kind of my entry point. Oh, actually mine was more of a, things are going really bad. Things are spiraling out of control. My mental health is not good. My direction is not well, and they're more of like, I'm lost or I'm stagnant. Or people who have already done a bit of self-development work and they really are experiencing a lot of more life and joy from it, and they want to go deeper, especially with, that's usually people who want to go deeper with sexuality. It's usually one of the last things that people tend to look at in their terms of self-development, which is kind of funny to me because it's also one of our greatest joys and things that we talk about the most and that you see on TV and stuff the most.
Danielle Lewis (02:09):
Yes. Well, I don't want to admit this, but I am watching maths at the moment, so it is
Chloe Adriana (02:13):
Oh, that's fine. The topic, the conversation. It's fascinating,
Danielle Lewis (02:17):
But it's really interesting because you didn't say sex, you didn't say that there's an issue with sex, so that's why people come to you. You talked about life and being stuck or being lost and direction and energy, so that's super fascinating that I feel like when I heard sexologist, I was like, oh my God, we're going to have raunchy conversations and it's going to be crazy, and I'm so intimidated. So I kind of love that you were like, no.
Chloe Adriana (02:44):
Yeah, I'm slightly different than a sexologist because I do focus on the love element as well and the self-love. My teachings are based in tantra, which is very much about life through the lens of love and sex and our pleasure and stuff is also, I think if there's not a really deep sense of, I love myself that it can feel a bit empty. I used to have plenty of pornographic sex, like, oh yeah, doing that position, but it feels like, eh,
Danielle Lewis (03:16):
Yeah.
Chloe Adriana (03:19):
But once I really knew my body and knew myself, that's when it got juicy and X-rated. Wow. Yeah.
Danielle Lewis (03:26):
It's so interesting, isn't it? And I really love that you brought it back to the concept of self-love. I think especially for, we've got, I would say a hundred percent female audience, but mostly women in business. And I think when you add in the stress of business, and so many of the women in our network are also mothers. They have families, some are carers, some are just us human beings trying to get through the day.
Chloe Adriana (03:59):
Totally.
Danielle Lewis (03:59):
But when you add a business on top of all of that, I feel like self comes last most of the time.
Chloe Adriana (04:07):
Yeah. It's so easy. I think that business can often be quite a masculine process. It's very goal orientated, driven deadlines, and it's literally in my work to bring in more of the feminine, more of the flow, more of the slowness, more of the listening to your intuition. And that's what I really try to bring into my business is that balance. And a lot of my programs, I'll literally have a self pleasure practice before I create them so that they're based more on this creative, because actually our pleasure and our creative center are connected. So actually I think that people who are, can I swear?
Danielle Lewis (04:50):
Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. This podcast is called A Wine with, so normally we have wine with, it's too early in the morning for that.
Chloe Adriana (04:58):
People who are well fucked by someone or by themself are usually a lot more happy in creating a lot better things like that quote from Legally Blonde, she's happy. People book don't kill their husbands and they make better businesses.
Danielle Lewis (05:14):
Exactly. That is hilarious. And I just love though that you brought it back to self as well, because I don't want to sit here and be like, you need a man to be happy because I feel like you don't.
Chloe Adriana (05:27):
No, you don't. Loving relationships are amazing, but I'm not in one and I'm still really happy and I know lots of people in relationships who are not happy. So it just starts with yourself and then build the rest from there. I think
Danielle Lewis (05:40):
I love that. I also heard once somebody said, when you're having an orgasm, that's when you should be doing your manifesting. You've got all of this crazy good energy
Chloe Adriana (05:51):
That is a correct thing. It's called Sex Magic. You're so good. One of the most powerful manifestation tools. Yeah, it's really good.
Danielle Lewis (06:02):
Oh my God, I think that's genius, and nobody takes anything else away from this conversation. That is it
Chloe Adriana (06:09):
Sex badging?
Danielle Lewis (06:10):
Yes. Oh my God, it's so good. So how did you even get into this?
Chloe Adriana (06:16):
Well, I was actually a primary school teacher and I was a professional fairy before that and love that.
Danielle Lewis (06:25):
I love that Seems like an awesome job,
Chloe Adriana (06:28):
Both amazing jobs and sometimes it seems like a strange segue, but to me it was actually really seamless. I ended up traveling. I left teaching. I was really unhappy. I found out a missing father came back, and all these just big, big things happening in my life that I couldn't deal with, but just ran away to Africa and Europe and ended up living in a self-development community for seven months, which was focused on tantra and all these things I'm talking about just a day in, day out. And I reached a point where I was like, I love this so much. I love it more than teaching kids. I want to do it. And I started running workshops and then I was like, I love this and I'm really good at it. I'd already learned to be a teacher. I'd already learned as a fairy to present, and I just fused these things together and was like, I'm going to go home to Australian study. What can I study? And I found a Sex Love relationship certification that was a year long certification and dove into that and just kind of snowballed from there.
Danielle Lewis (07:30):
I love that. It's so interesting, isn't it? How every life experience builds. There's nothing that's ever a waste in our life, even if we feel like we're taking a bit of a detour.
Chloe Adriana (07:43):
I love that as I love hearing people's life stories and especially women in business. It's like, oh yeah, that being a cashier for that long was completely relevant for me to do kids, or I worked for Lego for a while doing these shows. Lot of my, when I'm present at festivals, it's very got a fantastical show element to it. Talking about stuff that makes people really nervous. So I need to be funny and I need to make it palatable. Yeah, I
Danielle Lewis (08:12):
Love that. I know. It is interesting. So I worked for Telstra for 10 years and people were always like, eh, that must've been so boring. And I was like, well, sure. By the end of it it was. But when I think about, then I went into business, I was like, but now I know how to email etiquette. I know how to send a proposal. I know how to hold a meeting. I know how it gave me all of those foundational skills so I could walk into my business and go, oh, I kind of know what to do for that bit of it. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of stuff I didn't know how to do, but yeah,
Chloe Adriana (08:42):
You probably had a lot more up your sleeves than other people coming in with nothing. Yeah, I love that. I don't think anything is a waste, and maybe it was a lesson of what to never do, but it was still a lesson. Yeah,
Danielle Lewis (08:55):
Definitely. And I think sometimes people think, oh, I'm starting all over. And it's like, no, you're not starting now with this. It's just the next step. You're walking up a set of stairs and that's just the next step that you're taking. It just looks a little different. And the last step, I love that. Incredible. So I actually had one of our networking calls for Spark this week, and we had a beautiful Spark member who's going through a bit of a tough time in business, and so I always want to ask when I have someone, amazing, so if somebody is in that stuck phase, so they have just poured their heart and their soul and their money into their business and they're just feeling like things aren't gelling, things aren't working, do you have a suggestion on where someone might start?
Chloe Adriana (09:49):
I would call that a little deaf is happening, I would say, and deaf is a part of life. We all go through cycles as women actually bleed those who bleed. That's a little deaf that we have every cycle, and that it's a really good invitation to go within if I would invite her to just stop pushing, stop trying to grab at straws and actually just let it all fall away, sit in the despair or the grief, the fuck this, I've tried so hard and this isn't working, and actually go into that a bit. And usually when we go in, same with resting on our period, rather than just taking painkillers and pushing on. If we actually go in and there's so much wisdom inside of that, and maybe actually there's a whole different version of a business wanting to be born, or actually something needs to just actually be cut out in a way. I don't know what wisdom I would say there's something that's wanting to be reborn or reworked. It's usually when we're pushing it same like a relationship when we're just trying to make it work. It's like, what have we just let go and see what happens then?
Danielle Lewis (11:03):
Oh my God, I love that. I just had that moment of like, oh my God, after all of my meetings this morning, I'm going to go and do this for myself. I'm going to go and let the voices in, let them have a chance.
Chloe Adriana (11:15):
Totally. Yeah, and it's often sometimes stuff we don't want to hear, but we know it anyway. You hear it and you're like, ah, fuck sake. I know, I know.
Danielle Lewis (11:24):
You're like, oh, you've said that before, and I just keep ignoring you. Let the door, it just doesn't go away. Oh my God, that is so true. I know. I often think that sometimes when I'm spiraling and I have those moments of what do I do? How do I solve this problem? And it's like this, the same answer keeps coming up and I'm like, have you done that yet? No. Have you done that? No.
Chloe Adriana (11:47):
Maybe I would call that our wise woman or our intuition or our wise woman, the kind of patriarchal go, it doesn't really respect, just like our society doesn't respect elders, there doesn't respect that deeper, more subtle wisdom that doesn't make sense logically, but it makes sense on a deeper level. Yeah,
Danielle Lewis (12:14):
I know. It's interesting. I think perspectives are really important. It's just interesting that you mentioned that people don't respect elders. And it's funny because I know potentially some of them, maybe their ideas are a little outdated when it comes to some things, but I don't think it is when it comes to everything, I think there's real value in, because it's like anything, when you have a conversation with anyone, you don't have to take everything. You can take the parts that are relevant to you and that will help you move your life forward.
Chloe Adriana (12:45):
Absolutely. Yeah, of course. It's not just because an elder, we need to sit down and listen to everything. It's like, but they've been on the planet for double, triple the amount of time I am. They've got some kind of life skill going on still here would house, they've paid off a mortgage, they've raised kids or whatever. Some kind of wisdom going on just might need to sift to find it. It's like, well, they're amazing at packed lunches or, I don't know. It could be something or it could be something pretty big.
Danielle Lewis (13:18):
I know. I remember when I was having that moment of, because I guess probably the first business owner in my family, and I was like, I don't even know anyone that would run a business. And then I was really pushing against, I don't want your advice. And then I had to kind of check myself. I'm like, well, my parents do have their house paid off, and they have raised a family, they have done this. They must have done a few things financially as opposed to said business owner who just dumps all of her money in and then is going, oh my God, what am I going to do? But I don't want to take advice from you, sensible people.
Chloe Adriana (13:56):
Totally. Yeah. There's a little ego game that can come out and it'll make me a failure if I dare to take advice from my parents or something. My mom's always given me business advice. What? My mom's a badass. She was such a CEO boss in her time. And if I think about my childhood, I've just all these memories of hearing my mom on the phone being like, no, sorry. That's not good enough. We need to, and I've got that authority in me to believe. I mean, I do a pretty niche business. I've literally accounts deleted because meta allow me to advertise, and I've had to have a staunchness about me. I totally got from my mom.
Danielle Lewis (14:39):
Yeah. So how did you go about taking this wisdom, these skills, this education, this journey that you went on? How did you go about then turning that into a
Chloe Adriana (14:49):
Business? Yeah, I love that question. I think the main thing that I honestly did was started running a monthly event called Pussy Palace, and it's like a women's circle. Have you've heard of women? Yeah. It's like that, but also sexuality is allowed to be spoken about, which it's just there's not often spaces for that. And I just ran that every single month, and I've run it every single month for five years now.
Danielle Lewis (15:15):
Wow. In person or online?
Chloe Adriana (15:18):
In person.
Danielle Lewis (15:19):
Oh my God, how good.
Chloe Adriana (15:20):
Yeah. And when I think about it, it just created this consistent platform. I ended up turning it into a five day retreat. I was like, it was just, at first I had I think three people, and then it was sold out like 25 every single month. And I was like, people really love this. What if I did lots of days of this? And so that became retreat, and then it was like the courses grew from there and one-on-one coaching from there, and everything just pretty much grew from there. If I peel it back,
Danielle Lewis (15:57):
I love it. I was talking, we hosted actually the founder of the plot line journal on one of our Spark calls this week. And she was looking at basically taking the journal concept and moving it into a membership and community. And she's like, how do you even get started? And I was thinking about it like, well, how did you start Spark? What was that like? And I kind of had the same thing. I was like, well, I'm just going to do this thing, and I just committed to, I'm going to show up even if no one else does. And so then it just took all the pressure off and I was like, I know I need this space, so I'm just going to sit here. And if nobody joins my Zoom call, that's okay. But I've still shown up and I booked it in the diary, and I was there every week, whether it was zero people, one person, and now it's lots of people. But it is that it's just consistently showing up for the people in your community who need it. And it will grow.
Chloe Adriana (16:54):
It will. Yeah. It just will. Totally. I think that commitment and dedication is sexy. It's just so sexy. It's so sexy. Of course, there's months with my event that I was overseas and whatever and didn't run it, but as a backbone it was happening. And that same with whether it's just an email or just a post or just my consistency grew out into other things that I'm very consistent with. And I do know that that's quite hard for a lot of people. It's really hard.
Danielle Lewis (17:30):
There's this great image I've just seen about consistency actually. And it's like we think consistency is, and it's kind of got all of these cups that are full of water, and then it's like what consistency really is. And it's like then they're at all different levels and it's like, yeah, you do it every day or every week or every month or whatever is, but sometimes it looks a little bit different depending on our energy and whatever. But as long as you're showing up in some capacity, you're still showing up.
Chloe Adriana (17:56):
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I think that that's often, I also have a lot of entrepreneur friends. That's the main piece of advice. It's choose the thing that within your reach can show up too,
Danielle Lewis (18:11):
And
Chloe Adriana (18:11):
Then just do that thing with one post or one event. I mean, a monthly event is a lot, so maybe it's just six months or just something that's consistent.
Danielle Lewis (18:22):
I love that. And so you talked about things like posting, so I assume social media, emails, that kind of thing. How have you grown the business? What have been the things that have worked for you to spread the word?
Chloe Adriana (18:36):
My mailing list. Definitely having had my Instagram account deleted.
Danielle Lewis (18:41):
Oh my God. Was that devastating?
Chloe Adriana (18:44):
Oh, it was horrible. So traumatizing, to be honest. It was, yeah, especially you don't know why and you can't. Yeah, it was actually the Australian government. They deleted my Instagram and then my Facebook, they were attached, and I got the Australian government Business Ombudsman to get my Facebook account back, but they wouldn't give me my Instagram account back, so that's cool. That was a good one on the Australian government. That's amazing. They invited me to do that, and I was like, okay. And yeah, they could talk to Meta. No one can talk to Meta, but the government. Wow, that's
Danielle Lewis (19:24):
Crazy. Because every conversation I've ever had with anyone about Facebook is you basically just go through all the channels, get frustrated and give up eventually. Every now and again, you get lucky, but that is incredible.
Chloe Adriana (19:36):
That's pretty wild. I was like, come on. Not even, I do promote my business, but it's personal. I've had it since I was 16. Give me my thing back. So that was a win. But in having my Instagram account deleted, and I've actually only just gotten back to the numbers that I had had back then. Wow. Two years later. So it was a massive, massive blow. But in that, the wisdom was, oh, okay, any on social media audience is not mine.
Danielle Lewis (20:10):
I
Chloe Adriana (20:10):
Don't actually own that. And now my institution owns that. So I realized the only thing I really own is my mailing list. That's sacred to me, my mailing list. And I love writing. I'm writing a book. I'm pretty such a lover of writing, so I really nurture my audience with I think, pretty high quality stories of my own journey and clients, and then the events and whatever that's coming up. So that has just steadily grown every year. And then also presenting at different festivals and cool. I've not done massively a lot of podcasts, but I have definitely done some. And word of mouth is also just powerful.
Danielle Lewis (20:57):
You can't beat it. Hey,
Chloe Adriana (20:58):
That's how I found Spark really came to my workshop and told me about,
Danielle Lewis (21:03):
Oh my God, I love that. Yeah. It's so wild. It's in real life stuff still happens. Everyone gets so obsessed with the Instagrams, and it's like, how do I go viral? How do I do this? Do I? And then they have put all this resentment on it, and it's like, hang on a second. People still talk to each other.
Chloe Adriana (21:20):
Yeah. I think word of mouth is still the most powerful networking tool that there is that can never be
Danielle Lewis (21:27):
Taken. And I love it because it's predicated on helping people and doing what you say you're going to do in your business. And
Chloe Adriana (21:36):
Because you are showing up doing the Zoom call or the event, that's what makes people talk like this. Truth always runs this thing in Melbourne. A lot of people know about Pussy Palace. I've been to that thing, and a lot of people are like, I don't know about that, but
Danielle Lewis (21:57):
Oh my God, that is so good. Have you heard of the app Sunroom?
Chloe Adriana (22:02):
Yes.
Danielle Lewis (22:03):
Oh, I was going to say, I feel like that would be really cool for your business as well. They're a little bit more
Chloe Adriana (22:08):
Open to real ideas. It's an epic business model. I do have to cap my socials sometimes. I'm like, I feel good, but it is what I've definitely, it's there in my mind. Yes. Have a bandwidth of energy.
Danielle Lewis (22:27):
I know, right? It is. And that's why I like to ask people what they're doing, because it is funny when people are like, what do I do to grow? I'm like, well, funny. Your options are limitless. You could just spend all day on every platform, writing content, creating videos, being on podcasts, running it. There's just so much.
Chloe Adriana (22:48):
You
Danielle Lewis (22:48):
Really do have to go, what am I going to focus on? What's in my world? What do I want to do here?
Chloe Adriana (22:55):
And if I could say what I don't do, I started doing a YouTube channel. I was really committed to that. I'm really into it. I was like, I'm going to do a video a week or a video of Fortnight. Not sure, but yeah, one video got, I was teaching people how to watch ethical porn, but I stuffed up and I put the links to some ethical porn sites. It was a pornographic site. I got a strike, but I put three links, and that was three strikes. And so I got banned immediately. No. And so I just was like, I'd only had just recovered from Instagram. I was like, no, I'm not trying again. And then TikTok also, they're even more strict. And it was such nothing video, and it got banned. And I was like, no, not even trying this one. So I mean, people might not come up against the same issues as me, but just more when it's not flowing, it just flowing. And so I was like, I'm not pushing. I'm happy. I've got four or five different streams that are going out there. I trust people are going to come in.
Danielle Lewis (24:08):
Yes. And like you said, you keep showing up for people and it grows. And I love that you said your email list as well, because that's the place you own, right? That is the platform that you own and that relationship and that conversation with those clients. So if anyone doesn't have an email list, do that today.
Chloe Adriana (24:28):
Definitely do that. So when I hear people don't have it, I'm like, you are crazy. Get a Bailey list today.
Danielle Lewis (24:34):
It's wild, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I love it so much. You are so incredible. Chloe. Thank you so much for spending your morning with us. Now, I always love to wrap up these podcasts with one last piece of advice. So reflecting on your time in well life and business, what would be a piece of advice that you would give to another woman on her business journey?
Chloe Adriana (24:59):
Make sure you include some pleasure in your business. You're not here to burn out, to just constantly have a whip on your back like you did this because it's something I'm imagining that you love and that you feel called to give to the world. So let it be pleasurable for you as much as it is for those who are receiving it, that will also be felt on the other end of the people who are engaging with your business.
Danielle Lewis (25:25):
Oh, I couldn't agree more. You are the best. Thank you so much for spending your morning with us. I know everyone, there were so many tips, so packed with value. I really appreciate you.
Chloe Adriana (25:36):
Yeah, I appreciate you and so nice to connect.
Danielle Lewis (25:40):
That wraps another episode of Spark tv. Shout out to Spark TV sponsor IP Australia for their amazing support of the Spark Podcast and women in business. And if no one tells you today, you've got this.
✨ Thank you to IP Australia for supporting the SPARK podcast and women in business ✨
