#awinewith Jo Wilson
MEET Jo, Founder of Breaking Barriers Fitness Coaching
You can find them here:
Transcript
Danielle Lewis (00:05):
Joe, welcome to Spark tv. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you. Yes, it's early morning. Got a coffee ready for a chit chat. Let's start out by telling everyone who you are and what you do.
Jo Wilson (00:20):
Yeah, so I'm Joe. My business is Breaking Barriers, fitness coaching. So as Danielle and I were just kind of saying, I do struggle to define what I do. Usually my answer is I do all the things, but ultimately what I do with fitness is I actually use that as a way to help people process their emotions. So I'm not a fitness trainer in the way you would typically envision a fitness trainer. We do all the things, we do, the weights specifically, my passion is boxing and kickboxing, and that's what I really use to help people just, and particularly women, feel empowered, strong. And you'd be amazed how much at the end of a heavy session you sit down and you're talking about all the things that you've been suppressing. So that's really what I do.
Danielle Lewis (01:15):
I love that because I really relate to it because I often find if I'm struggling, if I'm overwhelmed with work with business or something's going on exercise, and even if it is light, even if it's a walk or a yoga session or whatever, but it's something about moving your body that helps to move emotions. It's really powerful, isn't it?
Jo Wilson (01:39):
Yeah, it really is. And I've seen it. I've been doing this for over 20 years and I see it every single time, and I've experienced it as well. Usually when I'm in the ring sparring with my trainer because I'm angry, then we end up sitting on the edge of the ring and I'm crying and going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we pretend that that didn't happen
Danielle Lewis (02:01):
And let's just forget about that last five
Jo Wilson (02:03):
Minutes. Yeah, just remove that moment of vulnerability and just continue on. It didn't happen.
Danielle Lewis (02:09):
Oh my God, I love it. I think it's awesome as well because I think that we think about health and wellness or we think about fitness as really singular. I'm just trying to lose weight. I think when anyone thinks about fitness, they think I've got to lose weight. And it's like it's just so much more than that.
Jo Wilson (02:26):
Yeah, it really is. And look, this is where I'm kind of that niche market. I'm not about weight loss. I am very much about come in as you are in whatever state you're in and we will make it work. It doesn't matter if you cut and concentrate if you are crying. I mean, we're talking negative stuff. Sometimes people come in super happy and then the energy's up and it's great. But yeah, I certainly, I've got an 18-year-old daughter as well, so I've always talked about my body as something that is strong and powerful and we've got to nourish it. And that conversation around body dysmorphia is huge. And I still see a lot of it in the clients that come in and it's trying to redirect their headspace, their energy, and focus on what a powerful, strong thing your body is.
Danielle Lewis (03:23):
Yeah, I love that so much. So I'm a child of a woman who worked at Weight Watchers for 30 years, so I feel like I've been on a permanent diet my entire life.
Jo Wilson (03:35):
But
Danielle Lewis (03:36):
It's so interesting and I think that's why I relate so much because I have that background and I've just seen the industry evolve so much. I mean, we saw Jenny Craig go out of business. I dunno if it was this year or last year, but it's just the narrative behind your body has changed so much. And I absolutely love that that's what you are instilling in your child, that it's a home and it's strong and it's powerful. And that is so empowering, especially as a woman. I think moving through life,
Jo Wilson (04:11):
It's a struggle. And we are told, and look, interestingly men, teenage boys as well, I've seen a lot of that. Their narrative is they have to be big and muscular. So that's been really interesting to see the teenage boys feel that pressure, particularly when you start to go to social media, which I won't ran and rave on. Oh, we can, I always do. Don't worry. But yeah, it doesn't matter how much you instill that positivity, the message we get is your value is in your size and how you look, and no one looks at the internal stuff. And we judge very superficially. And I really want to change that narrative and create this community that is just judgment free and supportive and just be who you are. And even if you're not your best self, that's okay. You can not be your best self here and still be welcome.
Danielle Lewis (05:08):
My God, I love that so much. So how did you even get into this?
Jo Wilson (05:12):
So I actually found kickboxing 20 years ago, and it seems like a stupid story, but I went to the dentist and I'd been clenching, grinding my teeth and very stressed. I was at uni working three jobs, had moved out of home and the dentist said, you have to have a mouth guard to sleep at night. Oh wow. Big $600 things that you've got to put in. And I just thought, I'm not going to wear it, and I'm not going to spend $600 on something I'm not going to wear. And I went, all right, well what can I do? And I went and tried kickboxing class and I have not looked back 20 years. That's what I turn to when I'm down the rabbit hole and feeling horrible. I step into the boxing ring and I'm like, oh, that's I am. Okay. Alright. I remember now. So yeah, it was just pure stress relief and over the years there's been lots of times that I've had to pull myself out and that's where I've been and it's saved my life and I want to give that experience to other people that are struggling.
Danielle Lewis (06:16):
Oh my God, that is incredible. Isn't it funny how life takes us on this journey? You go one place expecting one thing and then you just throw in this, oh no, here's the vision for your life.
Jo Wilson (06:28):
Yes, yes, exactly. And look, 20 years ago I was studying commercial property management and I was a potential property manager for almost a decade. This was never on my radar. And here I am now with my own business teaching people how to kick, punch, personal safety, all of this. And I never would've thought I was going to be here, but oh my god, do I love what I do?
Danielle Lewis (06:51):
Oh my God, that's incredible. So is it online or in person or both or how does that work?
Jo Wilson (06:57):
Yeah, so it's in person at the moment. I have my stretch class, which is kind of a hybrid of online, and I'm probably only just starting to think about how can I bring it online to reach more people. But I'll be honest, the face-to-face for me, that's what I love because it's more than just the technique. I can tell when someone walks in the room what their day's been like if they've got stuff and it's just a little side conversation before class starts and without fail where they start the class versus where they finish the class. Selfishly, there's a lot of satisfaction in that.
Danielle Lewis (07:38):
I mean, but how cool that you have created a business that you actually love showing up for every day?
Jo Wilson (07:45):
For sure. And I have to actually stop myself. My biggest problem is I love it so much that I realize I've actually done nothing else for six months. My husband's like, oh, have you gone out and caught up with so-and-So like what day is it? Like,
Danielle Lewis (08:01):
Yeah. Oh my God. Such a good problem to have. I know, right? Oh, that is so awesome. So you mentioned being or going into that commercial property management. What was the moment where you decided to do this full time?
Jo Wilson (08:20):
So I had my daughter at 26 and commercial property management, you can't go back to that part-time, it's a 24 7 job. So I took the convenient route, the bookkeeping job that gave me school hours so I could be there to drop my daughter off, pick her up. And my final bookkeeping job that I started, the lady I worked for, her husband was a personal trainer and she was like, I've been looking at all of these courses. I'm going to get qualified. I've done my research, I'm going to do my personal training online. And it was literally handed to me on a platter, here's the research done for you. This is what I'm going to do and I'm going to be studying it. And I had a conversation with my husband and I'm like, do I do this? Because I feel like if I don't, then I've got to stop talking about becoming an instructor. I'd been teaching for the person I trained with as well, and it was this real do it or shut up moment. And I ended up, I did the personal training certificate, which I didn't need, but I'm definitely someone that values knowledge and skill, and I do think the piece of paper in certain circumstances helps when people are looking at what you're doing.
(09:43):
And I went and had to do 20 hours of practical experience within a fitness business, and I ended up at a martial arts business, a kickboxing business, and that was it. I quit the other job and moved over to the other one part-time hours obviously, but on the same sort of hours and financially the same level. And I had not looked back since. And on my own. I've been out on my own for two years now and I can't believe it's been two years.
Danielle Lewis (10:15):
Yeah, it just flies, doesn't it? For better or worse, it flies. Yes,
Jo Wilson (10:21):
Yes.
Danielle Lewis (10:22):
Oh my God, that's so good. And how was it for you? So taking that leap, obviously I think what you were doing, no brainer, easy, you love it. What was it like going from employee to business owner? How did that feel?
Jo Wilson (10:37):
Terrifying. So I actually, I was a little bit blindsided. I didn't know I was going to be stepping out on my own, but ended up without a job. And again, the conversation with my husband, I'm like, okay, I'll go to seek and I'll stack shelves at Kohl's. And he's like, why don't you try doing this? And I went, oh, okay. And I'm very, very lucky where I train. I went to my trainer and I'm like, this is what's happened. I need somewhere to teach my zero clients. Here's my color coded spreadsheet of my timetable. And he just took the spreadsheet, chucked it to the side and went, cool, whatever you need. Oh my God, this guy sounds amazing. He's been there, I've been with him for eight years and he has always stepped up when my life's blown up.
(11:35):
And yeah, again, I was very fortunate. People came with me and I was able to keep rolling. So now I'm in this stage of trying to grow and eventually probably have my own premises as well where I can do the programs that I'm wanting to do. And interestingly, in doing a lot of work on marketing and sort of internal work, I realized probably only six months ago, so two years in and six months ago, I went, oh my God, I'm not just an instructor anymore, I'm a business owner. And I had no idea I'd set that limitation for myself. And as soon as I went, oh, I'm a business owner, everything just shifted. So I'm like, okay, so marketing, reaching out, pitching my big problem at the moment, or not problem, my big fear, which is actually why I'm here, is in being visible to reach the people, I've got to start putting myself in front of people. But the absolute stress and anxiety of doing that on the map, I'm fine. I'm the most confident person you've ever seen. But when it comes to putting myself out there in a business sense, I'm like, okay, 10 deep breaths before we hit connect.
Danielle Lewis (13:01):
Oh my God. Well, let me just sidebar and say, you're killing it. You don't even worry. Isn't that wild? How as business owners, so we usually start a business because we have a skillset, we're really good at our craft, whatever it is. And then we kind of, yeah, we go into business, we go, oh my God, overwhelmed by all the things. And one of those things is putting ourselves out there, but it's like you are putting yourself out there in the expertise you have. That's the thing that you're amazing at, and you're just being like, Hey guys, I'm amazing at this. And for some reason we're like, no, I don't want to do that.
Jo Wilson (13:35):
And I think too, because we're brought up with this belief, particularly as women, is if you sit up there and go, I'm bloody good at what I do and I'm what you need, you're either a bitch or arrogant and you are chopped down. And there's a lot of that in this industry. And I think in any industry, and that's something I'm doing at the moment, is I'm actually reaching out to other small businesses, small female led businesses to create a community and just connection. So I've connected with a trauma counselor, I've connected with a naturopath, even other fitness businesses that have different niches to me. So I might get an inquiry, but they don't fit what I do or I don't fit them. Great, go see this person here or go see this person here. So I think there needs to be more of that genuine support and there's enough for all of us. There really is. And yeah, just creating that connection is huge.
Danielle Lewis (14:36):
I love that you just said that there is enough for all of us because, so it's really interesting. I often find with these podcasts, I get common threads that happen during the week. And literally yesterday I was talking to somebody about this. So there must be a reason that we're talking about it right now, but it's so true. We don't have to compete with other people. Sure, there will be times where you offer something very similar to something else, but I love that you just said there are going to be customers that are not for you, and that doesn't mean that you have to try and squeeze them in or make them fit or take their money in for bad thing. There's other people out there that they're going to be right for. And the beautiful part about that is those people are probably going to send you business as well.
Jo Wilson (15:20):
And that's it. This genuine connection and referral, it's the support that we could provide each other is massive, but there is this element of gatekeeping and no, no, no, I can't share the knowledge or I can't share this. Whereas I'm a bit like, let's share everything.
Danielle Lewis (15:40):
Absolutely. Like why don't we help each other shortcut success? We're all women trying to create an impact or trying to build a business to support our family or whatever the reason is that's beautiful. Why don't we help each other out a little bit?
Jo Wilson (15:58):
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
Danielle Lewis (16:00):
And I think it takes no time as well to send someone a referral or to say, Hey, I've just experienced this thought, I'd let you know. Or Hey, let's all meet up and trade notes, whatever it might be.
Jo Wilson (16:14):
Yeah. Because small business, and I guess I've started to feel this in the last month, it's really lonely. And when you don't necessarily, you're not going to be strong in every area and you don't know everything, and when you do kind of feel like you're out at sea, that's when the dialogue starts. You're not good enough, you can't do this. Who are you to think that you can help people? How dare you have the audacity to try? And when you don't have someone to talk to about that, that's really hard.
Danielle Lewis (16:49):
And I think that a lot of women in business especially, we're working from home, we're literally alone. It's not even just we feel alone because we are doing something that's different than other people. Sometimes we literally are alone at home in our houses going a little stir crazy. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah. I think there is such power in connecting with community. And it's interesting as I was just thinking, okay, if I was feeling that way, how would I go about it? And I literally came back to, oh, go for a walk, be active, get out out of my own head.
Jo Wilson (17:26):
And just movement is so powerful. And I guess what I've had to come to in the last little bit, I'm someone that goes hard at everything. If it doesn't hurt and it's not challenging, it's not fun. I'm 44 now, my body's like, can you just calm down? I'm like,
Danielle Lewis (17:43):
Yeah, just relax a little bit,
Jo Wilson (17:45):
Please. I'm like, no, we're not going to calm down. We're going to keep doing everything. But what I have learned is to, or people that watch this are going to go, no, you haven't learned this. People that know me, what I am intellectually aware of is that I need to do, if I do a heavy weights wait a couple of days and maybe the next day it's a walk, and then that heavyweights is every three days. But I love to be challenged, but the ability to go for a walk, like my husband and I walk all the time, and that's where we have our connection. That's where the conversations happen. It's that side by side where there's no pressure to sit down and talk through your stuff. It'll just naturally come out. And it probably is a more masculine approach to, I want to say therapy. I always talk about my boxing as boxing therapy. It's that activity where you're doing something and then the stuff just comes out and then you go, oh my God, I feel so much lighter and so much better. And I didn't know I was holding onto that.
Danielle Lewis (18:50):
And I think that it's even when you do it yourself. So if you go for a walk by yourself, I often find that if I'm sitting at my laptop and I've got a problem and I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm never going to solve it, just staring at the problem. But when you get up and go for a walk, even if you are listening to a podcast, your brain starts to sort through things. And I find the exact same thing happens as if you're with a partner or a friend or someone that you're talking to, you're almost having that dialogue with yourself. And it is that space where you don't have the pressure of the laptop that things start to sort themselves out.
Jo Wilson (19:28):
Yeah, definitely. And it's that sort of old adage that the more you look at it, the harder it gets.
Danielle Lewis (19:33):
Yes.
Jo Wilson (19:34):
Yeah.
Danielle Lewis (19:35):
Oh my God, it's incredible. I love it. So you think's been, you mentioned putting yourself out there. What do you think was the biggest, I guess, eyeopener for you when it came to running a business when you went, oh crap, I'm a business owner now, one of the things people often struggle with is finance, but you came from being a bookkeeper, so I'm like, did that help or was that good? Or what did you struggle with as being a business owner?
Jo Wilson (20:02):
Yeah, look, I think the finance side of it, and actually I guess going back to my past corporate self, I'm actually quite comfortable in the business arena. I'm actually quite comfortable talking to people about where are your finances at? What do we have to do here? I'm certainly a spreadsheet person, so I have got a Me too. I love a spreadsheet. So it's like, here's your budget, here's what you've got to do. My biggest thing has been in marketing and getting my message. So my business has evolved as well. So I have what I currently do, which is very empowering. So that's sort of combining the boxing, kickboxing with personal safety stuff. And in this program, I really encourage you to challenge and push your comfort zone. Not everything we do is comfortable. We've been working knife defense that's not comfortable. It's fun, but it's not comfortable. I'm not saying that. But the other side of it is the complete opposite. This embodied boxing that I've created, which is actually about connecting to the body, breath work, yoga, then the boxing element, then we finish with yoga, and that's about processing trauma and grief. So it's these two polar opposites. I am a Gemini, so I do like to do that
Danielle Lewis (21:24):
Same love that
Jo Wilson (21:27):
That's why we do all the things.
Danielle Lewis (21:28):
Yes,
Jo Wilson (21:30):
But how do you explain that? How do you get that message to people? How do you go? You can do either one or the other or both together. And how do you as a fitness business say, come and train with me. I'll get you physically strong, mentally healthy, but we don't focus on losing weight. Weight loss is the easy pitch, and that's not what I'm about. So yeah, the marketing, and I'm not comfortable with selling myself either. Sales is not me. It's always made me feel like dirty. Sure, there's core beliefs there to work with, but that's been really hard. And again, like we said before, standing up and going, I'm freaking good at what I do. I've been doing it for 20 years in this combat sport arena as a female that has achieved her black singlet, not once, but twice. I can stand in front of a room full of men and I can teach you these skills. So that's to stand up. And I say that with full confidence. I'm a bloody good kickboxing instructor. If you want to know how to do this properly, keep yourself safe. Keep your body safe. I'm your girl.
Danielle Lewis (22:41):
Oh my God, I love it so much. Take that bloody energy into your sales strategy, please. I don't even know where any of this is coming from, but great. It's so good. It's therapeutic when you have an opportunity to have a conversation, and I love it so much. Wouldn't that be a good way to approach sales as if it was just conversation almost as if I had said to you in a non-sales context, so what do you do and what are you good at? You are like, well, actually, I'm amazing at this. Oh, cool.
Jo Wilson (23:15):
Yeah. And I have always found when people, and I've caught myself again as I realized I'm a business owner. When people say, what do you do? Or how much do you charge? It's almost this apologetic energy as well. When I say I'm like, oh, well I do fitness, but I do like boxing. It's not really what you're thinking. And yeah, this is my membership price and this, and that's really hard to overcome that conditioning. So yeah, that's been a real struggle as well.
Danielle Lewis (23:50):
Yeah, it's so funny that you say this. I found myself, so we went to this a FL game with my husband's work, and so I'm just the ringing wife here, and someone's like, oh, so what do you do? And I just found myself, and I've been doing this for 12 years, I should know what I'm bloody talking about by now. And I just found myself so downplaying what I did, and I thought about it for the rest of the night. And I was like, what the hell, man? I'm awesome. And if you do your visualizations, you have your affirmations. And I'm like, the things you write down on the page that you want to achieve for yourself are so huge. Yet when someone says, what do you do? You play small. And I was like, absolutely not. I wrote out what I did as I wrote out, so what do you do? And I wrote out a statement. I was like, I'm going to just practice. I'm going to practice answering in a way that is maybe a little bit more humble than the goals I have for myself, but is more stepping into that confidence. And I think you do have to practice a little bit, and I know that's a bit weird and uncomfortable, but
Jo Wilson (24:57):
Yeah. Well, I'll show you something. So while I was preparing for this meeting,
Danielle Lewis (25:02):
Literally, oh, I love that so
Jo Wilson (25:04):
Much. What do you do? And here's my scribble as I'm like, oh God, what do I do? And I've written this out so many times in so many different ways, and that each time I kind of talk to someone or I'm preparing for something, it comes out in a different way. So I'm starting to refine it. And again, even only this week, I'm like, well, talk about what you do. Do now, even though you haven't got the embodied stuff live yet, talk about what you do now and talk about where you're going because this embodied boxing, we need that. Our world needs that so much. And from teenagers through to adults, if I can catch the teens at 1415 and start to give them skills and resourcing before school, before all of that stuff, and I say this to my daughter all the time, don't be 44 still working out your stuff. If you out your stuff now, my God, your life's going to be so much easier, but life is hard. And to build these skills, if I can catch 'em down here and have the trauma up
Danielle Lewis (26:22):
Here, I love that there are so many skills. I think. So reflecting on my time in high school and university and all of the places, there are so many life skills that we are just not taught. And I mean, I always have a gripe about finance. I feel like we've not taught enough actual real finance skills in school. But I think the skills you are talking about in terms of how to heal ourselves, understand ourselves, process, emotion, deal with stress, there's so many skills to being a human. Why don't we learn how to be a human?
Jo Wilson (27:02):
I know, and I've literally had this conversation with some of my ladies yesterday, and they have kids that mainstream school doesn't suit them, and school hasn't really caught up with what we need. And kids aren't taught their physiology, so they get labeled. They get labeled as having anxiety. And I'm not saying anxiety doesn't exist, for sure it does, but I think for the majority, what they're actually having is an anxious response to a stressful situation. Normal. Yeah, totally. To label it, they're taught that increased heart rate, that shortness of breath, that's normal, and you're okay. And everyone experiences that. So here's the resource to deal with that, so we don't then spiral. Just imagine how much, again, you've got the health system, the finance system. Imagine how much unburden that would be if we could just understand and teach our kids their physiology, and as adults teach the physiology as well. There's so much
Danielle Lewis (28:10):
And it's not too late for us adults.
Jo Wilson (28:13):
Definitely. Definitely.
Danielle Lewis (28:15):
Oh my God, you are absolutely incredible. Joe, thank you so much for sharing your story on the Spark podcast. It's been a real eyeopener, and I think that anyone who's going through anything today, get up and get moving.
Jo Wilson (28:31):
Absolutely. Go for a walk, whatever it is, yoga, don't recommend going out and hitting someone, but if you can go to a gym, go hit a bag.
Danielle Lewis (28:41):
Oh, I love it so much. Now I always like to wrap up these podcasts with one last piece of advice. So reflecting on your time in business or even your time on the journey, what would be one piece of advice that you would give to another woman on her business journey?
Jo Wilson (28:59):
You know what? Just be brave. Go for it. And brave is scary, but start reaching out because each time you reach out and you connect with someone, it gets a little bit easier. And just understand that fear is going to be with you on the way, and that's okay.
Danielle Lewis (29:16):
Oh my God, I love that so much. I always tell this embarrassing story. I love that you said fear will be with you, but that's fine. I get super nervous public speaking, and someone once told me to talk to your fear.
Jo Wilson (29:31):
So
Danielle Lewis (29:32):
Sometimes before I go on stage, if it's really bad, I'm like, okay, I know that you're not going to leave. I know that you're here.
Jo Wilson (29:38):
It's
Danielle Lewis (29:39):
Okay if you want to come on stage with me, but I just want to let you know that I'm going to do it anyway. I talk to the few and I tell you what, it's crazy good. It is so
Jo Wilson (29:50):
Good. It is so good.
Danielle Lewis (29:52):
Oh my God, I love it. You are incredible. Thank you so much again, and I can't wait to, yeah, watch your journey unfold.
Jo Wilson (30:00):
Amazing. Thank you so much, Danielle.
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